Raya 2005

"indahnya sungguh dihari raya... ramainya orang bersuka ria... sanak saudara..."

aku dah luluskan cuti budak-budak aku... tapi cuti aku? nampaknye macam tak balik beraya la aku tahun ni, ingatkan tak balik raya pertama, raya kedua bleh la balik kampung... tapi macam tak dapat jek... Arggghhh!! dah la dah setahun tak balik umah... tak kira time raya aku nak gi gak solat raya.. operation tak operation lepas habis selesai khutbah raya kat utp baru aku masuk keje...

awek2 pun dah nak balik kampung masing2... tapi bukan awek aku la.. awek org lain.. awek aku? insya'allah nanti akan jadi awek aku gak nanti... sapa pasang lagu raya time aku keje memang nak kena lempang...

Balik Kampung?

Yesterday, I went for jumaat prayer in UTP and they already utilize the new mosque which my company will supply electricity and chilled water for the mosque air conditioning system. And last night I perform my terawih prayer there. Everything was like before back in year 2002 and 2003. It’s just that the question comes from SMS. After terawih prayer I drove home, change my clothes and drive straight to the plant for performance test. It is performance test for black start diesel generator. All the test only completed after 2 and half hours, and I went home at 2am.

Today I went to the office at 10am. Parked my car without reverse parking and went straight into control center room and ignoring the plant manager. Firstly discussing with my partner about effluent system performance test and PA system performance test. For PA system performance test CCR staff played “RAYA” song. First time in my life when I heard that song I felt sad. Why? Because when UTP utilize the new mosque, we must supply our electricity and chilled water to the mosque for RAYA prayer.

It reminds me about my mum voice when I say I’m not sure whether I can go home or not during Raya Puasa holiday. Her voice was different, I know she feel sad about it, but still she encourage me to work hard. For this Raya, what ever happens in the morning still I will perform my raya prayer first and think about the rest later. Went home? Yes I will but I don’t know how many days, since I am the head of operation it is my responsibility to keep this plant running efficiently.

2 a.m.

its already 2 a.m. and i am still in the plant since after dinner.. waiting for the gas turbine testing to end..
at first running on full load at 4.2 MW supplying to UTP. my ME thermodynamic lecturer and my manufacturing lecturer (dr Amin) also come to the plant to see the test... i'm surprised that dr amin still remember my name.. and for them it is quite weird i'm wearing red coverall and not yellow coverall (petronas)
well.. nevermind.. what i am thinking now is just my room, my bed and my pillows... still got half an hour left before i can lay my head and rest.. sleepy already... sigh..

Mengapa Begitu?

Tadi aku kuar ipoh... macam biasa... sorang..
reminds me masa zaman-zaman jadi student first year kat utp dulu.. selalu je kuar ipoh solo.. ye la... nak ngorat orang masa tu tak berani.. skang pun sama la... cuma terbalik je.. skang ni orang plak ngorat kita kah kah kah... dunia nak terbalik ke?


tapi kalau setakat jeling-jeling aku buat dekk je.. tapi bila tengok orang lain jalan dengan awek tu terasa gak.. kita bila lak... tapi datang lak kata-kata dalam hati "ah! malaslah" nampak gayanye lambat lagi la... hahaha... orang kata kalau kita tak cari.. nanti akan datang sendiri kat kita... ye ke? perhaps...


tapi apa yang sure.. from this september to november.. i will not be able to find one... will be too busy handing over work and document... four petronas engineers have to handover their task and document to me... ONLY ME! coz in that power plant now... we have only 2 engineers. the plant manager and me!


just that i hope time raya nanti jangan tak dapat balik kampung sudah... dah nak setahun dah aku tak balik kampung... sekali jumpa abah... abah kata dia nampak kita dah lain, wajah dah berubah.. and so is mama..


saudara mara pun sama la.. tapi bila time raya gitu aku sure soalan kawen memang tak boleh nak elak lagi dah... so far sepupu2 yang sebaya hatta yang lagi muda sekali pun dah kawen.. aku lak tak dapat nak pegi... time raya nanti sure kena tanya bila bleh nak makan nasik minyak kita?
kalau diorang tanya gitu aku nak jawab
"bulan duabelas nanti... tapi tak tau lagi tahun bila... hahahaha... kalau nak cepat tolong le bawak bakal pengantin perempuan sekali..." (ayat yang last tu macam tak berani je aku nak cakap) hahahaha lantak la...

Lonely...

Its been a long time since I leave my sister home in sepang. Now I'm back for few days just to get all my stuff since I heard my boss wanted me to stay with my job in UTP. Since I left KLCC in the beginning of august 2005, I miss a few person that have nothing to do with the powerplant.. one I always have dinner together.. always give me useful advice for my life and my survival in KL.. just when I arrive in KL from perak I wanted to meet the person.. I call.. SMS.. but no replies.. frustrated, slowly I walked to the LRT station. Still in the LRT I tried to contact but it is still the same.. tired of the journey and not having enough sleep the nite before becoz of working on the night shift, still I tried..but everything was no use..

I change my transit in Bandar tasik selatan to ride a commuter to Nilai.. at that time my fever get worse added with the frustration.. last time I promise to meet in the end of august..and now I don't know what is happening between us..neither calls from the other side nor sms.. last time I was strong but this time I am really weak and down.. at home I showered, pray, ate my dinner without appetite and sleep.. that nite I sleep dreamless and followed with bad cough..

Early morning, I woke up and try to contact again but it is still the same..its been more than a week I didn't hear the voice.. today I think I have lost one of the most priceless person I ever met in life.. I had lost a few...but I losing this really make me down...when I leave this home and my growing up nephew and niece back in UTP I will be alone again...
Alone facing the workload and big responsibility without moral support...I'm on my own...

Lonely...
I'm so lonely...
I have nobody...
I'm on my own...

Sigh....